This Shabbat-- Remembering Bubbie.

Well, this is it. Tomorrow is Bubbie's first Yartzheit. And I'm not home. I'm not with the people who love me most in the world.  The unveiling of her grave marker was last weekend in Chicago. Of course, because I'm in Jerusalem, I wasn't there. Luckily, my dad said he would read some words I wrote. I am going to post them here. I can't believe it's already been a whole year. So much has changed this year.  I am grateful for all the support throughout this year. It's been so tough but also wonderful. My Bub-- I try every day to make you proud. I love you and miss you.

Alicia’s comment for Bubbie’s Dedication 7/27/2014

        As I write this another Shabbat is beginning to fall on the city of Jerusalem. The sun turns the Jerusalem stone into this incredible gold and pink color as it sets—the same color as the flames that dance gracefully on the tops of Shabbat candles. And Shabbat may be among my most precious memories from Bubbie and Zayde’s house.  When we lived in Toledo, we used to drive there, and sometimes we would arrive just in time for Shabbat dinner. Bubbie stood at the top of the steps and watched us climb out of the car. She welcomed us with open arms, an apron tied tightly around her, and a dish towel flung over her shoulder. When we sat down for dinner, we said the prayers, and the Shabbat candles danced with the joyous sounds of conversations, debates, laughter, and music.

         About 7 years ago, Bubbie asked me to light the candles with her before we called everyone to the table.  We stood together and said the blessing. When we were done, I opened my eyes, but I saw that hers remained closed.  After a few moments, she opened them and smiled at me.  She said, “I always like to say an extra special prayer after I light the candles.” Then she kissed me on the forehead and called everyone to dinner. I continue to carry that moment with me. It was the first time that I really felt the Light of the Universe pour over me. I felt loved in a way that was bigger than just us—today I would call that God’s presence. I felt calm, and at peace.

         Bubbie had a special way of making me feel loved and wanted, especially when I had a hard time believing in myself. She called when she knew I was having a tough time. She was able to straighten me out with honesty and love and let me know when I was being a pain in the way only a grandparent can.

         As I remember Bubbie, I have been thinking of the song “Or Zar-u-ah.” “The words come from Psalm 97, verse 11, which states: “Light is sown for the righteous and for those who are upright of heart, joy."

אוֹר זָרֻעַ לַצַּדִּיק וּלְיִשְׁרֵי לֵב שִׂמְחָה

What a perfect description of my dear Bubbie.

         I know that light was sown for Bubbie and joy planted in her heart. I also know she planted the seed of light and joy in all of our lives. She taught us, by example, how to live in an upright way, how to look at the glass half full, how to love someone even if we are angry with that person. The joy that she felt in living every day, the optimism she demonstrated even during tough times, her ability to bring light into every room—she was a true “or” —she had a divine light.

I miss her. We all do. But I can’t also help but feel that we were so very blessed to have known her for as long as we did.

May we each learn a lesson from Bubbie — may we bring joy and light everywhere we go and love to all our fellow human beings, and to each other to the best of our ability. May we each feel calm and at peace knowing her light follows us and illuminates our paths. 

Aleha ha-shalom— peace be upon her and upon all of us.